12/4 Barb W

The text below was read aloud to the First Unitarian Church of Portland’s Board of Trustees and Executive Team on Wednesday, December 4, 2024.

I noted in the Board’s reading of its covenant tonight that it includes these words: “Work towards repair when harm is done.” I was surprised to hear this read aloud, since that is what I want to talk about.

I am deeply concerned about the ugly vitriol by my fellow congregants and church officers which is leveled against those who are perceived to be dissidents in our congregation. This occurs in person and online and seems to be unchecked in any way and even tacitly condoned. It includes misogynistic speech and verbal harrassment, which I have personally. experienced, all the way to vicious racist slanders easily refuted by evidence, which I have been witness to. It is ongoing. I am unaware of any serious attempt to mitigate this or provide a path to redress or reconciliation.

Here’s my story, to make this real to you: I have not often been one of the people on the sidewalk, but in September I stood silently holding a sign reading “practice love even if we disagree.” As congregants walked past me, one man yelled a misogynist slur which I won’t repeat here, and others yelled at me, “go away,” “get lost.” “We don’t want you.” This, directed at a fellow congregant who was peacefully advocating practicing love. Many congregants were present but no one spoke against this treatment or asked these congregants to refrain from this vitriol. When I expressed my dismay to a fellow congregant standing nearby, he shrugged and said “well, what do you expect”?

My friends, I expect my church to practice love; that is the stated mission of this organization. I expect congregants and church officers to refrain from vitriol and slander, and I expect this to be made explicit from the pulpit and in other communication from church officers. I expect that there will be a path to reconciliation, and that my church will cease to pretend that this vitriol is not occurring or that it is somehow OK. Where is the restorative justice I seek for the individuals and institution which have harmed me and others with words and actions?

To my knowledge, dissidents have never engaged in insulting fellow congregants or uttering hate speech. We’re not roadkill. We are your beloved community. And I, for one, will not be driven from the church I once served gladly. You can’t drive me out, and I will speak and act in support of loving practice until this increasingly toxic place reforms itself and remembers what it means to actually practice love.