10/3 Jamie D

An abbreviated version of the text below was read aloud to the First Unitarian Church of Portland’s Board of Trustees and Executive Team on Thursday, October 3, 2024. Jamie provided the Board with printed and electronic copies of the full text, with the request that his statement be included in the Board minutes. It was not. The only statement included in the minutes came from a staunch defender of church leadership.

I don’t want to be standing here. Every bone in my body would rather quietly slip away, find another church where I can meet my spiritual and social justice needs. But something keeps me rooted here for now—perhaps a mustard seed of hope that something can still grow, inspired by the passion and commitment to justice I’ve seen in our congregation. And so, I am grateful for this last chance to hopefully be heard from a place of love and a desire for healing.

As a member for over a decade, in the last few years my family and I have experienced systemic issues that have left us feeling disconnected from the beloved community we once cherished. We’ve felt disheartened by the lack of nourishment the church brings, and a belonging the RE programs once cultivated. When we voiced these concerns, we were often met with powerlessness or dismissive responses—‘we’re rebuilding,’ as if that were enough to soothe the hurt. Yes, the pandemic hit everyone hard, but I now know the cracks in our foundation run deeper than that. Over these past three months, I’m grateful to the congregant action group for shedding light on the roots of these issues.

Let me be clear: I don’t agree with everything the action group proposes, and I don’t believe in drawing lines between sides. But I do find myself respecting and aligning with their commitment to equitable communication—something sorely missing in our leadership. I’m not here to take sides; I’m here to ask our leaders to step into the responsibility that comes with their authority. We need a church that is transparent and just, where every voice matters. The core issue I see is the lack of communication. Many of us, myself included, have reached out to Leadership and the Board, and the silence is deafening. When I come to services, I leave with the heavy sense of a story only half-told.

What I’ve experienced feels less like leadership and more like an attempt to shield the institution from discomfort. I see a pattern of passivity, of hoping the problem will resolve itself, or worse, dismissing those who raise concerns as simply not understanding. But we know, from the pandemic and the Black Lives Matter banner we hung, that shirking responsibility only perpetuates the very systems we say we want to dismantle.

I believe there are many paths forward, but we won’t find them unless we open ourselves up to hear every voice. If we fail to intentionally include, we unintentionally exclude. We need more ideas, more solutions, and more transparency from our leadership. I’m asking you, those in power, to rise to this moment. If you need guidance, look to the dissenters—they have modeled communication in a way that has been both clear and courageous.

I want to thank everyone here for your willingness to keep an open mind and heart. I know we all want the same thing: a beloved community where everyone belongs. I hope my final plea contributes, in some small way, to that shared dream. Thank you.