Debbie Gorenstein
The following testimonial was emailed to the Board, Executive Team, and regional UUA representatives. Debbie received no responses.
My husband, Rick Pope and I began singing in the non-auditioned Chalice Choir in 2006 with Mark Slegers.
In the years we sang with Mark he never knew our names.
There was uneven support in the three choirs Mark conducted. He prepared for trips to Cuba and Ireland with the other two choirs. He organized a weekend retreat for the other two choirs. The Chalice Choir never worked on a Music and Worship service. When three choirs sang together in Fundraising Sundays, Chalice choir participated on the floor. Our winter holiday participation was singing with the children’s choir on a weeknight.
Still, I loved my weekly choir members and was thrilled to sing during the two Sunday services every four to six weeks.
DeReau changed the uneven relationship between the three choirs. He joined all the choirs for a weekend Magruder retreat. We sang on the chancel mixed with all the voices at the Fundraising Sunday and Easter. DeReau challenged our choir with difficult pieces. He encouraged us to have social times after our choir practice. We prepared for Music and Worship services.
DeReau learned everyone’s name.
Chalice Choir renamed ourselves Grace Choir at our Magruder Retreat. We worked diligently together learning the music together.
We grew together musically because of DeReau’s support.
DeReau fostered deep connections between all choirs at the retreat. We ate together. We washed dishes together. We practiced music together. We chose workshops together. We no longer wore differently colored choir stoles around our shoulders when we sang on the chancel to differentiate the different choirs. Choir members cut and sewed new stoles for all of us.
It was different with DeReau’s direction. Instead of having the pianist play individual sections, he encouraged us to figure out the notes based on sight reading. It was okay to make mistakes and he wanted us to listen to our errors. Grace Choir grew musically. Two beloved choir members died during the years. DeReau supported all of us through our grief.
DeReau showed loving concern and care when another close friend died of brain cancer. He ministered to me when our youngest daughter was seriously injured in a bike accident. He held our joys when our grandchildren were born.
We gathered in a circle before singing on the chancel. DeReau’s homilies connected us deeply to the theme of the worship service guided us. I felt lifted and connected to the church.
During Covid, DeReau arranged for each choir to meet weekly to continue our connections. He joined each choir to check in with all of us. John Boelling created one virtual choir and we practiced weekly via Zoom as John directed us from First Church while Signe played the piano. Alyssa Eldridge and Rich Scher worked diligently to provide practice tracks for the pieces. John created a masterful presentation. We formed strong bonds during the year we sang virtually during Covid.
I listened to the stunning Praise Singers each Sunday during Covid as First Church services kept the congregation together. DeReau arranged the music. I felt connected to the church through these Zoom services.
DeReau’s thoughtful music and deep questions during the Forty Days of Lent promoted self examination and reflection. He encouraged congregants to find joy, strength and peace within our lives.
Rick and I continued to sing with DeReau until 2024. I was a RE teacher and was very surprised by Cassandra’s departure. I sensed deep discord at the church. My family was dealing with health challenges. I felt untethered. My Buddhist practice supported me. I began studying the Pali Canon with my teachers. I felt more connected to my daily Buddhist sangha than I did with First Church.
I no longer felt safe traveling downtown any longer. I had experienced an assault while riding my bike. The attacker was months later apprehended by police a few blocks from First Church after pulling a knife on an officer.
In the same year, my husband and I were assaulted in our car at a stop light in Goose Hollow coming back from a choir practice. The attacker pounded on our car’s hood and side doors with a stolen metal traffic barricade. We couldn’t get out of his way as a car was behind us. This attack compounded my fears.
DeReau knew why we decided to take a year leave from First Church.. We decided to sing near our home at West Hills Unitarian University guided by John Boelling.
I missed DeReau and watched many First Church services via YouTube.
I was looking forward to singing this summer with the pick up choir at First Church. We are still members at First Church. I am unsure about returning to First Church after our year away. Rick felt comfortable at WHUUF which was our church when we were a young family with three daughters.
I felt connected to Rev.Thomas Disrud. He met with my dear friend, Marta Mellinger, and supported her and me as she was dying. He knew my name and greeted me with a loving hug when he saw me at church. I was part of Wellspring at First Church for two years and Tom was the minister in charge of supporting the program. I will always feel gratitude and love for Tom.
Rev. Alison is a touchstone for my daughter and her young family. I appreciate the support she has given for young families. Our 18 month old grandson, Elliott Moore, is named after our family camp which we have attended since 1991. Allison provided deep sermons surrounding October 7 after Hamas killed and abducted Jews. Later, with the further destruction of Gaza and its innocent people, she reflected upon compassion and justice in the Israel and Palestine. As a woman with Jewish roots, I felt connected with Alison.
I write to you because of my love for DeReau and my hope for clarity and peace. I write to you because of his sudden departure. I write to you because of the surrounding rumors and harsh criticism of DeReau’s work as my music minister
I write to you with sadness and hope.
Debbie Gorenstein
June 29, 2024
